It's a gay hair cut.

Poland is cold. I need a heavy coat. And a pair of slippers, but that is another blog. Today I will stick to the coat. Anyway, I have been looking for a good coat that I like and is warm. This is a more difficult process than it may first appear. This is a coat that I will be wearing for a good portion of my days here, so I want it to be one I like a lot. So every time I pass a store window I am looking inside to see if they have what will one day be my winter coat. The problem is that I would like one that does not have a dead animal glued to the hood. I know this may be a lot to ask but I was raised in the northwest and there are a few things we will not do. We will not pump our own gas, and we will not wear fur. I have no problem with others wearing fur if they so choose, and I am not trying to attack Polish fashion, but I find it ridiculous that there is not a hooded coat that does not have fur, or fake fur stapled to it. That said, I have begun to try to understand Polish fashion.
Patryk cuffs his jeans. I haven’t the foggiest why people do this. It happens in the states as well, so we cannot blame Poland. But the man cuffs his jeans. So I started to look for it on others. Low and behold every once in a while there is a well dressed, attractive guy who has his jeans cuffed as well. So I suppose it is safe to trust Patryk’s sense of style here because mine has apparently not adjusted to the time zone.
Later the same day I saw my coat! It is a brown coat that is mid-thigh length, heavy but not fattening, with a fur and fake-fur free hood! I try it on and it fits perfectly! But Patryk’s face does not support my find.
“What’s wrong? Is the coat not good?”
“You don’t want that. It’s a gay coat.”
I quickly remove the coat to check for rainbow patches on the back which I might have missed, but found none.
“What do you mean?”
“The buttons. They are gay looking buttons.”
Besides the fact that I am indeed a homosexual, I have never been one to “flame it up”, no matter what Lauren says. So I put down the furless coat which I had previously thought to have buttons of an ambiguous sexuality back on the rack, and Patryk and I went off to get him a haircut.
I waited patiently while the flamboyantly gay hairdresser cut Patryk’s hair. I guess that stereotype is true in Eastern Europe as well. He might as well have been wearing my coat. When he finished, Patryk’s hair could only be described as a glorified mullet. Short on the front and sides, and fuller on the back and top. Not what I would call attractive by any means, but Pat was thrilled with it. I asked him why he would do such a thing to his head. He told me it was a gay look.
I looked across to the man who just cut his hair. He had the identical cut. I looked down and saw that his jeans were also cuffed.
I think I will go buy that coat after all.