Patryk saw it too.....

so i was riding the tram to the center today, and sitting near me was a man carrying a purse. now this is a very conservative country, and men do not carry purses, not even the gay ones. But this was distinctly a purse, there was no hiding it. it was blue with flowers. I couldn’t believe it, this old man sitting on the tram was holding a purse. I really try not to stare at people, but i was off to the side and there really was no way he was going to see me gawking, so i gawked away. that is precisely when i realized that is was not an old man carrying a purse, but an old lady with a moustache.

and we are not talking about grandma having a little hair under her lip. (grandma if you are reading this, i do not mean you specifically, you do not have a moustache, but the proverbial grandma little old lady with some chin hair that a person might recognize as a lady who might have facial hair in a reasonable way)

It was dark and bushy. I mean this moustache was better than mine, and the last time i shaved was sometime early last week. This was the kind of moustache that is the envy of teenage boys. you all remember high school, the prepubescent years when there was always that one kid who was able to grow a little facial hair before all of the other boys. the kind of facial hair that is patchy and awkward, that any sane person would shave or at least trim around the edges to make it look somewhat presentable. but if you can grow hair on your face in high school, you let if grow wild and free because each scraggly hair on your face is one more hair of sexual superiority when you are the only one growing it. the others dont realize it is unattractive, just as you dont because no one around you can grow it, but you can. you can.

that is the kind of moustache this woman had. it was a dark and patchy bush beneath her noise that was awkward and misshapen. the kind of facial hair that scott herman grows for those of you who know the reference. not realizing that everyone who sees it wants to pin you down and shave you for the good of society. black with spots of grey, like some bizarre silver fox woman, with the facial hair tinsel strength of wonder womans’ lasso of truth. i half expected to spot a piece of cabbage soup caught in the forest.