Super-Gay Sunday.

My boss invited me to his super-bowl party this weekend. He invited me in front of another co-worker without inviting them. I thought this was a bit strange that I would be invited and my co-worker would not be, but as soon as I got to the party I quickly realized that why. My co-worker was not invited because he was straight. That’s right folks, it was a Gay Super Bowl Party. The invitation was extended to me for one reason and one reason only: I'm a fag. (hi mom!)

I really don’t think about things like this much. Most of my friends are gay, and I feel that it is just by coincidence. I live in a fairly gay part of town. There are several theatres and bistros, and that is where the homos congregate. But it really struck me when I realized that of the six people work at my coffee shop including the owner, four of us are gay, and a fifth is debatable. Yet I still tend to be ignorant of these things, and go on my merry way thinking little of anyone’s sexuality. So when I heard I was going to a Super-Bowl party, I thought I should study up on the rules so that I would not be completely lost. I went out to a bar with my token straight friend so that he could explain to me some of the basics. I have never really paid much attention to football, but knew that the ball was sometimes kicked through the big fork at the end of the field, or ran past it for points. He filled in some of the other details and sent me on my way.

When I arrived I discovered my newly acquired knowledge was a great help to everyone. The crowd consisted of a handful of fags between the ages of 20-40. This is when I realized my Christian co-worker was not invited for his own good. Refreshments consisted of gin and tonic, and deviled eggs. I did my best to explain the rules as I understood them to the group, with others eagerly filling in whatever details they might have discovered along the way. One fellow was thrilled he could tell the group what a “tight end” really was. Eventually all confusion on how the game was played was quickly cleared up when a lesbian finally arrived.

All in all, the even was a success. Highlights included the half-time performance by Prince singing “Purple Rain”, and the Flo-Max commercial with the side-effect of a decrease in semen. That one really got the guys laughing.

the patryk challenge......

Patryk has completed the Patryk Challenge. Now i leave it to the bloggers:
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In the corner of toothpaste wisdom

So as you all know, I wrote a blog entry yesterday, but it was not accepted by the blog manager. The reason: too much sadness - understandable. Here I go again with a new entry. A very happy one.
I write for living. It’s not a very social way of earning money but it works for me. Let’s put aside what I like most (doing mean theatre criticism) and have a closer look into my latest job. The job of a copywriter. One of my duties is writing short stories indirectly advertising the product (toothpaste) on a special web site. The stories are grouped into four wonderful sections: weddings, dates, meetings, jobs. I tell you – each of them is a splendid source of wisdom and joy. However they can bring much frustration into the author’s life.
Imagine yourself supposed to write twenty short texts. Twenty short and witty texts. Twenty short and witty texts promoting optimistic attitude towards life. Twenty short and witty texts promoting optimistic attitude towards life and advertising the toothpaste. Twenty short and witty texts promoting optimistic attitude towards life and advertising the toothpaste, all of them having a specific off-toothpaste topic. A bit scary, isn’t it? And a bit stupid, too. And now imagine yourself supposed to write three hundred such texts, because that is the amount wanted and expected.
I managed to write around one hundred so far. And I may consider myself an expert specially on: how to quit a job so that everybody loves you, how to seduce a friend from work, how to prepare a splendid coctail party, how to dress for a fast date, how to behave in a natural way, how to… And also on some other issues: wedding rings, mess on your desk, two pairs of shoes for dancing, poker with friends, downtown beauty, power of a good kiss, getting up with your left or right foot first, chaos in your head, wedding in India, New Year’s in New Zealand, and so on. God I had no idea one person can act as an expert in so many fields... Especially me – the person who knows how theatre and not real life works. This is truly amazing. But on the basis of what I’ve gone through, I tell you – it is possible.
One short text is ten zloty (that is around $3,30). So I am not making fortune on all this writing. But it is something. And as a bonus I get a nice portion of happiness and optimism produced by myself. Smile, smile, smile and show me your white teeth – this is the one and only recepee for making the ‘Life is beautiful’ sentence work. Even if you still have around two hundred short texts to write.
What else can I say? I really don’t know, but I am sure that in around half an hour I am gonna be an expert on presents for St. Valentine’s Day, wedding on St. Valentine’s Day, making your colleagues happy on St. Valentine’s Day, as these are the topics I am currently exploring. Yes my friends, the 14th February is really close and I have to be up-to-date. Otherwise all the toothpase fans in Poland will not only stop brushing their teeth but will also have a disastrous St. Valentine’s Day. And we wouldn’t like that, would we? So let’s get to work. Earning $3,30 for a life (and teeth) saving advice :)

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Adam here. So now that my darling Patryk has published his first blog, you will have to comment and let us know what you think. Does this fulfill his obligation? Should he start translating toothpaste commercials to english? do you think he is cute? Would you like to marry him for citizenship?

Please let us know what you think. Silent blog-stalkers and first time readers encouraged!