Total hits on xxxxxxx.html Starting Date Goes Here the vacationalist: December 2006

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

the depths of boring.

I am an incredibly boring person and i fully admit it. those reading this who think otherwise most likely know me from a working relationship, ie: a relationship developed at the work place. it is all part of my master plan. since i rarely have anything to contribute to any social situation besides AWKWARD, i make up for my shortcomings by always trying to stay very busy while doing a job. This way, i can talk a lot about work, with people at work, which also applied to classes while i was still in school. with this simple technique i can fool many people into believing that i am somewhat interesting while we are working on a common project.

and now onto the depths of my boringness.....

i do a lot of sitting. two weeks ago, while sitting, i decided i should invest in new underwear. now, for those of you who are unaware, this is a big commitment. so far in life, the only underwear i have ever owned is underwear almost exclusively found in my stocking christmas morning. that's right, underwear purchased by my mother. not that there is a serious problem with any of the underwear i receive, but there comes a time in ones life when one should not be wearing underoos purchased by mom. and that time might as well be the now.

Patryk helped me get two new pairs of underwear a few weeks ago, that were more fitted and adult style. I wont go as far as to say that they were more of a european style, because to be honest, he is my only frame of reference in that department. but they were a great contrast to the ones mom buys, which are more about the cute animals, or funny sayings that are printed on the boxers. but since i had decided that i was to purchase my own underwear from here on out i realized i needed to decide what type of underwear i wanted to commit to.

This is a decision most people arrive at well before their early-mid-twenties, but i work with what i've got. so i decided to do a little research in to underwear styles. since taking polls would be rather awkward, i did what any member of generation e would do, i looked on the internet. (generation e is the name i have giving my generation. not a part of generation x, or the less publicized generation next, i have decided that growing up in the world of email, etrade, and so on gives us the e title as well. i am using it now in hopes that it will eventually catch on, and that those who read this will remember it was I who coined it.)

where was i? right. undies.

so i went online to research what underwear i wanted to buy. after much deliberation, i decided. the official name for my underwear of choice is: the baskit urban sawed-off brief. which it kind of a low-rise boxer brief, but a bit of no-show trunk as well. if you are not familiar with undergarment jargon i fully understand. until recently such sophisticated terminology was beyond me as well.

now all i have to do is wait for them to arrive by mail. but they were put on back order until after Jan 1. i didn’t realize the urban sawed off brief was in such high demand. but the delay makes me anxious. i was hoping to have them before the new year.

perhaps i am not as boring as i think. but i know of no one else who stresses over such things as the underwear they ordered as a christmas present to themselves being a few days late. but i do my best to keep my anxiety to myself. my sister is getting married in under a week, and the stress level is rising in the house. though still valid, my underwear stress will not be considered on par with the stressors of the rest of my family.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

christmas rant.

As not to confuse anyone, I will begin by informing those who do not know that I am back in the states. My sister is getting married at the end of the month and I refuse to miss a fancy dress party. That said, I will continue on to the topic of this blog. Ahem.

Christmas music makes me want to hurt someone. Now don’t get me wrong here, I love Christmas. And I have nothing against Perry or Bing. But there comes a time when enough is enough. Every radio station is playing the same 20 Christmas songs on a loop 24 hours a day. Perhaps my memory deceives me, but was there not a time when Christmas gradually started rolling in a week after thanksgiving, and fully settled in around the 15th? I remember a few years ago complaining that all of a sudden everything was Christmas the day after thanksgiving. Now stores are full of red and green Santas a full two weeks before turkey day. And the level of Christmas used to gradually grow until the day was finally arrived. Now it hits the ground running, right our of the gates. From dawn till dusk in every store “here comes Santa clause” blasting like cathy lee on Ritalin. Forcing you to continue shopping at a hyper active rate. But God forbid anyone speak up against the insanity, else Fox News declares it a WAR ON CHRISTMAS.

I love this time of year because I can spend quiet evenings at home with my family watching movies and eating good food, with the smell of pine enriching the house, emanating from the dead evergreen in the corner. Hopefully without “the jingle bell rock” crashing through the air waves fourteen times a day. And as I change the channel on the station yet again for the day, I wonder what it would be like to be Jewish this time of year. Which is, by the way, the only time of year when you can bet money on the fact that if you don’t change the station for sixty minutes, you will hear a WAM song without fail. Oh George Michael if only you knew at the time.