Total hits on xxxxxxx.html Starting Date Goes Here the vacationalist: the patryk challenge......

Friday, February 02, 2007

the patryk challenge......

Patryk has completed the Patryk Challenge. Now i leave it to the bloggers:

In the corner of toothpaste wisdom

So as you all know, I wrote a blog entry yesterday, but it was not accepted by the blog manager. The reason: too much sadness - understandable. Here I go again with a new entry. A very happy one.
I write for living. It’s not a very social way of earning money but it works for me. Let’s put aside what I like most (doing mean theatre criticism) and have a closer look into my latest job. The job of a copywriter. One of my duties is writing short stories indirectly advertising the product (toothpaste) on a special web site. The stories are grouped into four wonderful sections: weddings, dates, meetings, jobs. I tell you – each of them is a splendid source of wisdom and joy. However they can bring much frustration into the author’s life.
Imagine yourself supposed to write twenty short texts. Twenty short and witty texts. Twenty short and witty texts promoting optimistic attitude towards life. Twenty short and witty texts promoting optimistic attitude towards life and advertising the toothpaste. Twenty short and witty texts promoting optimistic attitude towards life and advertising the toothpaste, all of them having a specific off-toothpaste topic. A bit scary, isn’t it? And a bit stupid, too. And now imagine yourself supposed to write three hundred such texts, because that is the amount wanted and expected.
I managed to write around one hundred so far. And I may consider myself an expert specially on: how to quit a job so that everybody loves you, how to seduce a friend from work, how to prepare a splendid coctail party, how to dress for a fast date, how to behave in a natural way, how to… And also on some other issues: wedding rings, mess on your desk, two pairs of shoes for dancing, poker with friends, downtown beauty, power of a good kiss, getting up with your left or right foot first, chaos in your head, wedding in India, New Year’s in New Zealand, and so on. God I had no idea one person can act as an expert in so many fields... Especially me – the person who knows how theatre and not real life works. This is truly amazing. But on the basis of what I’ve gone through, I tell you – it is possible.
One short text is ten zloty (that is around $3,30). So I am not making fortune on all this writing. But it is something. And as a bonus I get a nice portion of happiness and optimism produced by myself. Smile, smile, smile and show me your white teeth – this is the one and only recepee for making the ‘Life is beautiful’ sentence work. Even if you still have around two hundred short texts to write.
What else can I say? I really don’t know, but I am sure that in around half an hour I am gonna be an expert on presents for St. Valentine’s Day, wedding on St. Valentine’s Day, making your colleagues happy on St. Valentine’s Day, as these are the topics I am currently exploring. Yes my friends, the 14th February is really close and I have to be up-to-date. Otherwise all the toothpase fans in Poland will not only stop brushing their teeth but will also have a disastrous St. Valentine’s Day. And we wouldn’t like that, would we? So let’s get to work. Earning $3,30 for a life (and teeth) saving advice :)


Adam here. So now that my darling Patryk has published his first blog, you will have to comment and let us know what you think. Does this fulfill his obligation? Should he start translating toothpaste commercials to english? do you think he is cute? Would you like to marry him for citizenship?

Please let us know what you think. Silent blog-stalkers and first time readers encouraged!


At 1:10 PM, Blogger yudili1981 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 6:49 PM, Anonymous Tomek said...

Ależ Patryku, przecież ty już tego nie robisz. Twoja najświeższa notka jest zatem całkiem nieaktualna. Ale nieaktualna notka na nieaktualnym blogu - oh, dość to smaczna kpina z szantażysty :-)

At 11:17 AM, Blogger Kerstin said...

I think it passes! Cute and funny. It reminds me actually of a book "Fabian" by the German author Erich Kästner. The book takes place during the Weimar Republic and is about the downfall of the main character, Fabian. He has a PhD in German lit but can only get a job for an advertisement company writing witty catch-phrases for cigarette ads.

At 8:35 AM, Anonymous Mizzzzz Crow said...

Most excellent. I would marry him for citizenship if I didn't already know how much you have to camp out at the INS and how long you have to pretend to be intermingling your bank accounts and your bodily fluids. Plus I am getting over my divorcee fantasy. Now that I have been bequeathed a possible ward, I am having a Rochester fantasy where I keep my crazy first husband up in the attic. Unfortunately, I think Patryk is way more Jane Eyre than Bertha Rochester.

At 8:39 AM, Anonymous Mizzzzz Crow (again) said...

p.s. wouldn't it be fun for those of us with dead-end jobs to contribute a gem or six for these toothpaste ads? I'd procrastinate on the company dime so that Patryk could get an easy 10 zloty.

At 2:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

charity event

At 12:51 PM, Anonymous petey said...

silent blog stalkers? never! lol

it was cute.

At 3:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know I'm about 3 months late with my response, but I like the entry, and I want to know when I get to meet you, Patryk. Perhaps we could share some toothpaste wisdom...
-Sarah (Adam's cousin, and a dentist)

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